Ode to a child

Will I be seen?
Will I be heard?
A child continuously asks himself
The answer is not here, not there
The answer isn’t anywhere.
The child grows up and still
A question or more he has
Will I be grand?
Will anyone care?
Will mom be here?
Will dad show up?
More questions come and go
Just as time flows.
Triangulations start and end like that,
No clear conclusion ever reached
It’s just like talking to thin air,
It’s neither here, it’s not quite there
It’s like a ghost that sometimes comes
To mess with human minds
It’s ego, some might say
It’s not,
But then again, what is it?
What is there left to be? 
A shadow of the past?
Some memories?
Will I be seen?
Will I be heard?
Will I be someone worthy long before
I’m gone?
You never know how you grow up
Or not to be,
For choices you have many
It’s always up to you to see
Your worth
Or not to be
Yourself, but someone else
For whom? For what and why?
Will I be heard?
Will I be seen?
The child just is.

Why do I write? Why do you read?

Some poems are for me to know
While others are for you to read.
Some words are mine and mine alone
You’ll never know of them, they’re incomplete.
Through poems do I know myself?
Through reading do you hide your self?
I write for me to listen
You read for you alone.
I write for me, I also write for you
I write for the world, I write for no one 
In particular.
I hope they’ll read, I hope they won’t,
My family.
I write because I cannot speak
Of all the things there, in my soul.
You read, why do you read
All the poems in the world?

Untitled poem

I sometimes wonder
If I should name my poems
Does anyone ever read the title?
Will it last in memory
Or will it quickly fade
When you reach the next poem?
Do I really have to give a resume
Of this or that poem
In a title?
What actually lasts
In the eyes of those who read?
Will it be a few lines, a sentence
The whole damn thing?
Will words inscribe themselves
On the retina or will they be a bore?
Will anyone turn the next page
For more?
Why do I have to give a title,
Is it really necessary for it to appear
From somewhere in the back of my mind,
Scratching my head for inspiration
Only to find none?
What imprints could I make
In the human eye
With my words, with my rhyme?
Do I really need a rhyme
Or do I just scatter words?
Do I make a certain rhythm
Or a pattern out of words?
Do I let it flow
Or do I control it?
What exactly is poetry,
And what do I do with it?

A soul’s journey to the afterlife

The statues in the cemetery are all blue
Grey I think they were supposed to be or white
The sky has fallen over them
There’s no need to cry.

I rise from ashes down below
And scream to get a light
“Sorry, I don’t smoke!”
Someone answers from above.

I said “No smoke, just light!”
“No light, just blue!” the answer comes
I said “Hello, not blue!”
“The whale is blue, no light!” the answer comes again.

I need a light to move, no shadows
The statues move in all their blue
Their heads are bowed, no lantern light
“Give me some light in all that blue!”

“No light in here, might well give up!”
The answer rises once again
“Who are you, now? What do you want?” 
I ask again, in desperation for a blue.

“No need to know, just keep it low,
Disturbing are you of things fine
No need to know, just keep it blue,
Down below!”

The statues move and hear my cry
They bring me forth a light.
I make no sense of what it is
It’s neither blue, nor white.

“What have you brought? I make no sense!”
“No need to know, just keep with you!”
“I need to know, I need a light!”
“No need to know, just keep it light!”

I make no sense of what is going on
Why am I here in all this blue?
The sky is pierced, the sun has died
In all this earth, I see no light.

“No need to know, just keep it light,
As life unfolds, you better know
That you don’t move in all this light
You’re dead and gone, but still turn blue…”

“Why am I here? Explain at once!”
“No need to know, just keep it light
You can’t go back, you can’t move on
You’re here to stay a year or two.”

“Why am I here and where is here? 
I need to know!”
“No need to know, just keep it blue,
The sky is clear and so are you.”
“The sky is clear? I cannot see!”
“No need to know, for ghosts don’t speak!”
“What ghosts? Where are they now?”
“No need to know, no need to breathe.”

“I need to breathe in order to survive!
I need a light, just show me where!”
“No need to know, no need to cry,
You’ll stay here for a while.”

“I need to go, to go back home!
Release me now, I beg of you!”
“No need to go, you’re here to stay,
Your life is over, don’t you know!”

“I do not know, I accept not
What you now say!
Why am I here and where is here?
“I need to go!”

“You need to stay a day or two
You need to rest to breathe anew.
No need to know, just take it as it is,
No need to cry, I have you here!’

“And where is here? Just let me out!”
I cannot stay, I need to go!”
“The light is blue and so are you,
Immortal soul with no way out.”

The kiln

My throat is clogged
With all the words
I want to say,
But can’t.
I don’t know
Where they have gone,
I cannot see
Where life begins and ends.
My mouth is dry
With all the wine I drank,
I need some water
For rebirth.
I think of clay
And see your hands
Shaping the strands.
A vase is born,
It’s dried as well
Under the sun
Next to the kiln.
You knew of patterns
Long ago
And stories told
Next to the fireplace.
I know you not,
I kid you not,
I cannot see,
I cannot hear.
My voice is where?
Coming out of nowhere,
I see your voice
But cannot hear your words.
My ears are red
With mistletoes and kisses promised,
Never fulfilled,
Never regret
The pain that washed over me.
You left a vase behind
An inscription said
You took to the sea
As vast as your being
Of words, of shapes, of sounds
The kiln dried everything,
The words, the shapes, the sounds.
I cannot breathe,
The air is dry,
Too dry for me to live.

The word “love”

I rest my head on the pillow

While not knowing what will come next.

Morning always follows night,

But what if the cycle is suddenly interrupted?

What if I suddenly stop breathing

While dreaming of being alive?

What if I won’t be able to distinguish

Dreaming from being awake?

And so, sleep never comes.

My nights of insomnia are filled with

Worries, dreams, hopes and stress,

Stressing on the notes of my heart that beats

Too fast, in a rhythm that I can hear

Ringing in my ears.

That’s how exhausted I must be,

And in the morning, upon waking,

For I eventually fall asleep,

I can hear its continuous drumming –

Tudum, tudum, tudum,

Making sure I know we’re both still alive.

The way my blood flows through my veins

Tells me I’m definitely still breathing,

And I still need to check if I can move,

So I get up from the bed and go to the bathroom

To look at my reflection that is backwards, in the mirror.

I wonder how the brain actually sees things

And how reality is beyond the veil

Of twisting the images and reflecting them back

On the screen that are my eyes, then transmitting it further on

Until images, in a matter of time I cannot even perceive

End up being information, food for my being

As a matter of survival and just so I can admire

The plane of existence I’m alive in.

I live in my head, with no traces of love,

No poetic justice done to my days,

I might as well see only grey,

Even though I am aware of all the colors.

I see myself sitting on the bank of the stream,

Flowing downtown,

With the sun shining on me, the breeze slowly beating

The drum to a song I almost don’t know,

While love comes to find me.

Instead of knocking on my door,

It would creep up, unexpectedly

While I read a favorite book on the green grass

Near the water’s edge, tickling my feet

That would be bare, for it would be summer

The season love would enter my being.

I run to it, I run from it,

I run from myself, I run from you,

The you I haven’t yet met,

The you I might meet,

The you that might be a stranger forever,

The you I might pass by on the street

Without knowing your name is LOVE.

I might be breathing the same air as you,

Sharing moments looking at the sky,

Jotting some notes on pieces of paper

Tied in an agenda, while sipping coffee

On the terrace of a chic café.

I would be wearing a hat

That would obstruct my view of you

While passing you by on my way to an art gallery.

You would be looking at what you had written,

Making plans, taking care of business or,

I don’t know what else,

I simply can’t see you.

Our breaths would mingle only to fall apart

A second later.

I might end up never knowing your heart,

I would only hear mine beating

Without actually feeling it in my chest.

We would still be living our lives apart

Without ever writing words of love

On pieces of paper tied together in an agenda

In a small café.

Are you looking at the sky?

Who were you when I didn’t know you?
What stars illuminated your sky?
Were they different or the same as mine?
Were we walking on the same planet,
Were we looking at the same sky?
Were we breathing the same air
Smelling of roses and sunny sheets,
You know, that fragrance freshly washed laundry has,
Left to dry outside, on the line.
Amidst yellow flowers, is your sky blue,
Up above the brown color of your hair?
Are you looking at the same sky 
Or is yours different from the clouds that make up mine?
I can’t decide if my letters to you should be short or long,
If phrases should be kept neat and orderly, or if I
Should throw a twist in there
To make you wonder why
I started writing in the first place
When I could have just called to say “Hi!”
Have you changed your number or is it the same
As the one you had some lifetimes ago
When we both imagined the telephone
Just so we could more easily talk
From our separate and different corners of the universe.
My time stopped while yours kept on moving,
And then they reversed.
I fell asleep while you were waking up,
Slowly pulling the curtains to look at another
Sun drenched morning sky.
Are you looking at the same sky as I?
Are there any clouds today or is it clear?
I thought I heard you sing one day,
Out on the terrace that made up all of our yesterdays,
While strolling around the garden
I heard a bird say your name.
I turned around, hoping to see you,
But all I could make up was a silhouette
Standing against the light of the sun
Coming down to the earth from your place in the sky.
I miss you,
I can’t see you,
I wish I could hear you
Say my name.
Are you looking at the same sky as I am?
Does it have the same color as mine?
In what corner of the universe are you hiding in this time?
I never know when to look at the sky
To catch the same stars and the same light
Melting away, like snowflakes
In the fluffy clouds behind which you hide your smile.
Are you looking at the same sky as I?

Monday morning

Words with no name

Evening comes
Drops
Leaves falling
The gentle sky
Sways in rhythm 
With time
Passing
Sitting still
Moving forward
Infinity
Everything
A season 
A year

Când fața-mi întorc

Când fața-mi întorc către soare
Primăvara, vara și toamna uneori
Regăsesc frigul iernii, proptit lin în mine,
Smucindu-mi zâmbetul ce oricum, era trecător.

Când fața-mi întorc către tine 
Abia de te recunosc, fug și mă tem
De schimbarea survenită în sufletu-ți
Ce altădată învăluia lumea mea, blând.

Când fața-mi întorc către lume
Îmi vine să strig: „Ce se-ntâmplă aici?”
Toate-s ruine, necropole, arse cutii
Altădată depozite de zâmbete și bucurii.

Cănd fața-mi întorc către mama,
Nu-mi vine a crede cum timpul trecu’,
Mai ieri eram mică, ea mare,
Astăzi eu sunt mare, ea mică se făcu.

Când fața-mi întorc către tata,
Nu-l mai găsesc decât hăt, departe,
În amintiri și poze cam șterse
De când viața anima încă într-însul.

Când fața-mi întorc către suflet
Aproape tresar și mai să mă-nspăimânt,
Aș planta semințe care să dea germeni,
Dar apa, vai, nu e de știut.

Când fața-mi întorc către apă,
Curgând și spălând nisipul, pietrele
O las să curgă prin ființa-mi deșartă
Care va redeveni pământ.